[Anonymous asked: Here, settle a bet - there’s this bloke goin’ by the name of Stratford that’s gained quite the reputation out in the sticks. I says he ain’t a patch on old Carcer, but they reckon he’s proper mental. You ever heard of him? What’s your take on all this?]
Never heard of him. I knew a Mary Stratford when I was a lad, but her folks lived round the corner in Of Lane, not out in whatever backwater you’re talking about. No mental brothers or cousins or anything to speak of, neither.
…wait a minute, you’re not saying I’m ‘mental’, are you?
[oneswhouseyou asked: What do you look for in a prospective partner, romantic or otherwise? Or do you look at all?]
Well, that’d depend on what you mean by ‘romantic,’ yeah? If it’s the kind of thing my dad’s always on about, then I can tell you for sure I’m not lookin’ at all. A man’s gotta have his freedom, after all, and you can’t exactly hold onto all that when you got a missus after you all the time. But if you’re talking, haha, euphemistickly…can’t say I’m too picky about that.
As for ‘otherwise,’ I’d rather work alone. Like I said, I don’t wanna be tied down to nobody. But if that ain’t an option I’ll work with anybody who’s got enough sense to do what I tell him—just not for any longer than I have to.
[Anonymous asked: Carcer, do you like ice cream? If so, what is your favorite flavor?]
Not, haha, particularly. But I’ll eat whatever I can get.
But people say Andy's yer grandson. Some'ow
Anonymous
People must be even stupider than I thought, then, haha. I mean…I was thirty when I died, right? Don’t know quite how long it’s been since then, but I reckon it’s not much more’n five years. And the kid’s what, twenty? I didn’t go to school much, but even I can see that’s not gonna work out right, maths-wise.
(And like I said, I don’t have any kids anyway.)
[Anonymous asked: “What d’ye think of Andy Shank, mate?]
That’s the kid from the football thing, yeah? Can’t say I know much about that whole mess—what’s it to me what the wizards get up to, unless it’s to do with that Hix bloke?—but I know who he is. And I know what he is, too. Used to hang around with his sort when I was a kid. Blokes like him think they’re some kinda hard man ‘cos they’ve got a few knives and know how to scare their mates with ‘em. But they’re just a bunch of cowards, really. Dishonest. Too keen to keep their necks outta the noose to do what they really want.
I’d like to think I’m a better man than that.
((OOC: So I know this blog hasn’t updated for a while…but it’s not dead yet, honest! Organic chemistry just isn’t particularly fandom friendly. :| Updates will resume soon, but they’re going to be all text for a while, as I’m going to be out of the country for eleven weeks and won’t have reliable scanner access. If you sent an ask a while back that I haven’t answered—and I haven’t completely missed the boat re: the subject matter—don’t worry; it WILL get answered. Eventually.))
[Anonymous asked: “Do you know if you happened to have… left any progeny?”]
Who’ve you been talking to? You know shouldn’t believe everything you hear, haha. On account of the fact, y’see, that it’s what you don’t hear what really matters. I reckon Missus Miller never told you how she’s had it in for me since me and her Maggie was kids ourselves? Or how Jenny O’Brien coulda picked any of the lads on Elm Street to go pointin’ her pretty finger at when her mummy started askin’ inconvenient questions? And for all I know, young Mary Stratford really did have a sick auntie in the country who needed looking after, and people just…jumped to conclusions. Life’s unfair to us all, haha, but things like that sure make me wonder if I didn’t get the worst of it.
Anyway, kids ain’t really for me—too much work for what they’re worth, as far as I’m concerned. A man’s gotta have his freedom, haha, right?
[anonymous asked: I, too, am in contact with a dead murderer; we get on well, but there is one unfortunate niggle. He wants to take over my bo- No, don’t bother denying it, Maru! We both know it’s true!- and use me to kill things. Annoying people, mainly. This, understandably, is both deeply troublesome and troubling. What I want to ask is, how do I get dried-on bloodstains out of fabric? Also, where can I hide this body? (The armour is heeeeavy.)]
[Image: Carcer pointing over his shoulder. It looks like he’s telling someone to dispose of something. | Text:”Don’t bother—you’re never gonna get all the blood out. Just burn yer old clothes & buy new ones. As for the body, have you tried selling it for medical experiments? (The Surgeons Guild pays pretty good.)”]
qurl whur you get dat fiiiiine weave?
Anonymous
[Image: Carcer looking confused. | Text: “I think you’ve got the wrong Carcer there, mate.]
![[Anonymous asked: Here, settle a bet - there’s this bloke goin’ by the name of Stratford that’s gained quite the reputation out in the sticks. I says he ain’t a patch on old Carcer, but they reckon he’s proper mental. You ever heard of him? What’s your take on all this?]
Never heard of him. I knew a Mary Stratford when I was a lad, but her folks lived round the corner in Of Lane, not out in whatever backwater you’re talking about. No mental brothers or cousins or anything to speak of, neither.
…wait a minute, you’re not saying I’m ‘mental’, are you?](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4e7hpTDiW1r7drkxo1_1280.png)
![[oneswhouseyou asked: What do you look for in a prospective partner, romantic or otherwise? Or do you look at all?]
Well, that’d depend on what you mean by ‘romantic,’ yeah? If it’s the kind of thing my dad’s always on about, then I can tell you for sure I’m not lookin’ at all. A man’s gotta have his freedom, after all, and you can’t exactly hold onto all that when you got a missus after you all the time. But if you’re talking, haha, euphemistickly…can’t say I’m too picky about that.
As for ‘otherwise,’ I’d rather work alone. Like I said, I don’t wanna be tied down to nobody. But if that ain’t an option I’ll work with anybody who’s got enough sense to do what I tell him—just not for any longer than I have to.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4e6vbd91r1r7drkxo1_1280.png)
![[Anonymous asked: Carcer, do you like ice cream? If so, what is your favorite flavor?]
Not, haha, particularly. But I’ll eat whatever I can get.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4e56cX14H1r7drkxo1_1280.png)
![[Anonymous asked: If you could have anything you wanted that could fit into a cookie jar, (that wasn’t anything you might be able to use for killing somebody) what would it be?]
I dunno. Don’t know if there’s anything you can’t kill somebody with, haha. Even if it’s no good for stabbing and it’s too light to bash ‘em over the head with, pretty much anything’ll do the job if you shove it down their throat hard enough.
…all in self defence, o’course.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2s6cyrwxO1r7drkxo1_1280.png)
![[Anonymous asked: “What d’ye think of Andy Shank, mate?]
That’s the kid from the football thing, yeah? Can’t say I know much about that whole mess—what’s it to me what the wizards get up to, unless it’s to do with that Hix bloke?—but I know who he is. And I know what he is, too. Used to hang around with his sort when I was a kid. Blokes like him think they’re some kinda hard man ‘cos they’ve got a few knives and know how to scare their mates with ‘em. But they’re just a bunch of cowards, really. Dishonest. Too keen to keep their necks outta the noose to do what they really want.
I’d like to think I’m a better man than that.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1naz6gCKq1r7drkxo1_1280.png)
![[Anonymous asked: “Do you know if you happened to have… left any progeny?”]
Who’ve you been talking to? You know shouldn’t believe everything you hear, haha. On account of the fact, y’see, that it’s what you don’t hear what really matters. I reckon Missus Miller never told you how she’s had it in for me since me and her Maggie was kids ourselves? Or how Jenny O’Brien coulda picked any of the lads on Elm Street to go pointin’ her pretty finger at when her mummy started askin’ inconvenient questions? And for all I know, young Mary Stratford really did have a sick auntie in the country who needed looking after, and people just…jumped to conclusions. Life’s unfair to us all, haha, but things like that sure make me wonder if I didn’t get the worst of it.
Anyway, kids ain’t really for me—too much work for what they’re worth, as far as I’m concerned. A man’s gotta have his freedom, haha, right?](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lw2rc64rzi1r7drkxo1_1280.png)
![[anonymous asked: I, too, am in contact with a dead murderer; we get on well, but there is one unfortunate niggle. He wants to take over my bo- No, don’t bother denying it, Maru! We both know it’s true!- and use me to kill things. Annoying people, mainly. This, understandably, is both deeply troublesome and troubling. What I want to ask is, how do I get dried-on bloodstains out of fabric? Also, where can I hide this body? (The armour is heeeeavy.)]
[Image: Carcer pointing over his shoulder. It looks like he’s telling someone to dispose of something. | Text:”Don’t bother—you’re never gonna get all the blood out. Just burn yer old clothes & buy new ones. As for the body, have you tried selling it for medical experiments? (The Surgeons Guild pays pretty good.)”]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lw0658hZBK1r7drkxo1_500.png)
